something i cannot be proud of

i know i have doubts, i have fears and i have insecurities.

i have many problems as they always go on my way. i have something that nobody can possess

and on the contrary, i am lack of those everyone can.

i know, to others, 'm unique because i can do better especially

in the field of making someone happy through laughing.....

yes! it is that easy for me, maybe of because that's one of my expertise....

to entertain and to open-up unto others.

but i can't deny that maybe there are some people cannot appreciate

or cannot understand the way i express myself to others.

and i know that, I practically knew that!........

...................

I hate this part

how would this end? could this be end?

It seems to be a music to me. A favorite song that would always been a part

of my daily life living. I know it's not that easy to stand strongly and say "stop"

for I know that they would not listen to me. i bet so.....

would they? who are we?.....

this isn't be fair ....why this exists?

Since, i came up to decide that i should do something to settle

this up but i failed. now, i am only thinking through that experience

that " I was trained to expect the unexpected". and try to take those trials

and obstacles as they always go on our ways........

mAgnUm OpuS

My life evolves something in an unsual ways.

It extents to the highest level to achieve what they

believed living it to the fullest.

Well, I've DONE MANY THINGS BEFORE.

Some are worthwhile and some are just wasting time.

I sometimes engaged in of being one of then cheapests.

I think so.......

I'm a kind of person that was experimental and adventurous.

By my curiousity, it's not enough for me to take things only by

somewhat taking a part of listening to others' opinions without more

and of more wanting it more badly to be experienced......

my story

This Is My Now - Jordin Sparks Music Code

"whom in green"

They are people whom easy to be with.....
Unintentionally, they know how to get along to others
although those are not in the same levels......
They're like a big brothers and sisters to me
Eventually, they're seem to be that close to me....

Surprisingly, they know how to appreciate things
done in simple ways
They consider things I haven't done because I
know they love me as what I am....
I don't have any hard feelings for them for they
treat me as one of them....

I don't have any doubt for them because
they definitely know how to understand....
I don't have shame for them because they
know how to accomodate....
And I am not bored being with them
because in the first place, they really know
how to entertain.....

I am not upset for they're always telling me hints
I am comfortable with them because they
share advises.....
We are like a big family when we're together
I don't feel uneasy because they always bring
out the best in me.....

I admire them most not only because they're seem
to be that kind to me but of the friendship
I can perfectly seen on them........
And now, even though I'm wearing blue
I might sure as hell to deny that soon I will be
one of those whom in green......

"as a person"

I don't have shame now. It's just that I find myself
starting to enter things maybe I left behind in the past.
I am not that kind of person who always hide a face

and let things flow accordingly by simple doing nothing.
I am more mature now. I am ready to face things
or situation I might been started.

This is what I am. This is me!

"A Classroom Crush"

I have a crush in our classroom. He is tall, dark and handsome. Those were few of his characteristics that really caught my desirous attention. Since, I tried many things just to caught his attention. And it clicked! Every time, I had participated most of our class activities and I definitely didn't know what's magic beyond my imaginations that we were always belonged in the same group. Yes we were!

Both of us, taking any important role in drama, singing, or any interpretation of any particular event. Those things were always connecting us for a common desire just to make things work out accordingly making us close as what we are now.

I absolutely love being who I am now and what I have now. Because that's what he treated me every time we were together. I was so mistaken before that I thought he was the kind of person wasn't easy to be with. But I'm wrong! I'm definitely wrong!

As I know him better, I found that he wasn't the one I was always thinking of and his definitely more than I expected. That's why I like him so much!

Before, I never thought that feeling will last longer. As longer as this. And I simply take this just for fun, considering this as a childish attraction. But it's not! Now that I find it more interesting or more exciting rather, I just wake-up to the reality that I am now in love. Yes I'm in love! In love to someone who really deserves to be loved by anyone. A person who has the heart and the sensuality of being a man-himself. That's him! The man who has an infinite interesting characteristics underneath his lovely innocent face. In love to a very passionate person who has the quality of uniqueness and a very strong presence. That's why I can say that he's definitely one of a kind! He absolutely blinded me with his aura every time we've been together. I was stolen by his very expressive eyes the moment he stared at me. He was always reminding me of what I am now.

And now, I can say that he's probably an inspiration of having a unique and as well as a full of courage living as I start my days on............